“You are fearfully and wonderfully made…”
Do you believe it when you hear the words spoken in Psalm 139? That you are
truly fearfully and wonderfully made. Every part of you! Not only did He form you
in the womb, but He loves what He formed. How easy it is to question the Lord
about how He made us.
“But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is
formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’”
Romans 9:20
We might not say it out loud, but we can think it and wear it in how we act or
behave. It’s so easy to compare ourselves with others, coveting their attributes
instead of accepting our own.
Growing up, my father never expected me to be educated, successful or virtuous.
The only expectation I felt was that I would look good. How awkward it was being
a chubby young girl looking for love and acceptance, and being met with disgust.
It affected me deeply. I especially hated my knees, how they were curved and
accentuated when I stuffed them into my knee socks.
How many diets I went on to try to lose weight, thinking then that things would be
different, that things would change. What I realized is, it never really works, that
though we can somewhat change our outward appearance, it never fixes what we
believe inwardly. How often we try to compensate for what we feel is lacking or
missing on the inside.
I remember as a new Christian being afraid to eat, thinking that God was like my
father, and that He would reject me. It was a real stronghold in my life. Here is the
thing about addiction–especially with food. It’s not cut and dry. Unless the Lord
heals you, which He can, you either diet or overeat, and overeat I did; and in doing
so, I gained weight… and to my surprise, God began to pour His love down on me,
and I realized He was not like my dad at all! He loved me no matter how I looked.
He loved me so much; I was happy with who I was for the first time in my life. I
truly accepted myself. How deeply God wants to change and re-arrange how we see and accept ourselves. To show us how He sees and accepts us. In Jeremiah 18 there is a story that
recently really impacted me. It’s the story of the Potter, it goes like this;
“Then I went to the potter’s house, and there HE was, making something at
the wheel. And the vessel that He made of clay was marred in the hand of the
potter; so He made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the
potter to make.” How like the potter to be busy at the wheel. To see and understand that our vessel is broken and unless it is made over it will never be able to hold what He longs to pour into it. This scripture is not about the outward person that is fading, but the inner person that is being renewed daily.
When our self-image is under attack, it can create shame, making us feel rejected.
Just one thought or one whisper about how we look can set us up to question how
we were made, trying to disqualify how God sees us.
Struggling with body image and food addiction is not an easy thing to surrender to
the Lord, but don’t give up. He is able to change what we think is unchangeable.
To show us what has caused the struggle to begin with. Today as you bring
yourself to the Lord, know that you are acceptable and pleasing to Him. Let Him
love you in such a way, that you are then able to love yourself more fully.
